Happy Birthday to ME!

 Well, yesterday was my 44th birthday.  I can't say thank you enough to everyone who wished me a happy day - your wishes came true.  It was a good day :)  Which sparked this blog post....  Many of you may not know (haha), but I am actually a very private person.  I don't really like people in my business and I don't want to get in your business either.  I don't even really like that my birthday is posted on Facebook.  That being said, I admit,  I was overwhelmed with the many posts, notes, comments, texts, ecards, face to face, and email birthday wishes yesterday.  I'll be honest, I never take the time to send birthday wishes via any media except for family and close friends. I guess I think, what I have to say isn't that important and won't be missed.  But I saw every greeting that came to me yesterday and tried to respond in some form or fashion to them.  I saw faces of family, friends from High School, College, Junior High, my small town, my co-workers, my church, and literally from around the world.  I was humbled that so many people (well over 100+ is a lot for me) took just a minute to think of me and let me know. (CUE)    Yes, I am ashamed!  So I have determined that I will make every effort to let someone else know that I am thinking of them and praying that every day is special.  So to all of you who have already had a birthday or anniversary in January, please accept my retroactive and sincerest Happy Birthday/Happy Anniversary.  And if you ever wonder if your words are important or if they will be missed, just know that they are very important and will be missed by someone who desperately needs to hear them at that time.  For those of you who pick up the slack for the rest of us, thank you - you really are an encouragement for me to make connections and be confident that your words are appreciated and make someones day brighter.  Thank you again for ALL of the well wishes over the past couple of days.  I am deeply touched at your remembrance.  

(I have to say, I can't stop staring at that puppy!!!  He is the cutest thing EVER!!!)

Tori  

I'm Not Perfect, and That's OK!

A little reflection from todays bible study - the passage was encouraging me to give up trying to be perfect and let Him be perfect in me. Oh that's hard to swallow. Not that I think I am perfect-not even close.  But that doesn't stop me from trying.   I don't even mind putting in the "work" to become perfect, but the disappointment when the wind gets knocked out of my sails never becomes easier to accept.  Somehow I find a way to move past that and keep pressing on.  So my lesson is ... Quit putting those expectations on myself in the first place! I know that as my relationship with Christ deepens, I can learn to trust His perfect love and remain confident in the promise that He will finish whatever He starts in me.  I hope you too will hold on to that promise and allow God to be perfect in you.

Confidence vs Fear

So I was visiting with a co-worker today about a book that we are reading, A Confident Heart, by Renee Swope.  We were talking about opportunities that we may not pursue because of our lack of confidence either in OUR abilities or HIS availabilities.  I don't think of myself as a fearful person.  I would even say that I am a pretty confident person, but I do know that I have missed out on many experiences because of my lack of initiation just because I don't think I deserve it.  It is negotiable for me.  I can have it or live without it - no big deal.  I see now, that I do hold myself back because of non-confidence. (Is that a word?)  I believe I can perform any tasks, with confidence, that I am asked to tackle, but do I chase possibilities?  What am I afraid of?  We referenced Jeremiah 17:7 "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence."  Although I say this is true, how much confidence am I putting in the Lord and what his will is for me?  Funny thing - none of the scriptures I read ended with - "if it is Your will."  Just straight up - "...You won't be disappointed." "I am doing a new thing..." "All things work for the good..."  "All things are possible..."  I am so thankful for a God that has confidence in me when I have tremendous doubt or even a shadow of doubt.