Tori's Ts of Twenty Fifteen

I've seen many posts over the last few days siting resolutions for the new year and it got me thinking..."What should I resolve to accomplish next year?" You know I'm not going to get too serious here, but I will share a few ideas that I hope to add to my decision making process not just for 2015, but for my lifetime. These are born out of the realization that time is passing quickly and I am getting....let's say 'more mature' (not older).
Trust - This is a BIG one for me. I trust that God is working out everything for good and really doesn't need my help. He is protecting us and providing for us in ways that we will never see, but will we will recognize and acknowledge. I trust that my kids are making good decisions and that they live in truth in their words and actions. I'm having a hard time finding that balance between holding them close and letting them grow. No matter how hard I try to forget, I remember the decisions I made at 13 and 17 and it makes me quiver. My consolation is that they are way smarter than I ever was :).  I trust that leaders, teachers, and coaches are well qualified and sincere in their intentions of doing what is best for everyone involved. Ok, Ok...maybe they do know what they are talking about....some of the time:)
Train - As I mentioned earlier, time is flying and this time next year, graduation will be staring us in the face. I have some time to train Samuel how to cook and clean and do laundry and balance a checkbook and shop for food without going behind him and doing it the way I want it done. And how can I train Cooper to tackle high school with dignity and grace when I 'm not so sure I was very good at that? So, I hope to train them more through my actions than my words. Intentional actions. Trusting that my Training will provided a strong foundation for their future. Training is also my occupation and I resolve to train myself and others with enthusiasm to gain and provide expert knowledge in my field.  I just have to laugh at that! It sounds like something I would write for a 'Job Target' but I am sincere.
Treasure - Although our families are very healthy and come from a line of  'long livers', we are getting older and our life stages are altering. To me, my parents have always been the age they were when I was Cooper's age - about the age I am now. But they can't be my age if I am my age. I treasure every moment I get to spend with our parents, siblings, and other extended family. My parents raised very independent children and we all seemed to go our own way as adults. We may not talk or visit often, but we are family and we come together when we need to. And now I am raising children who are also developing that same strong independence. So I will treasure memories made and yet to be made; time spent and yet to be spent; TLC given and yet to be given; phone calls, text messages, tweets, snapchats - they are all being added to my treasure chest.
Trash - Maybe de-clutter is a better word but it doesn't start with T. Trash bad habits like my diet and lack of consistent exercise. I can trash the grudges I deny I have along with the chip on my shoulder. Did I really just write that? Well I can't delete it then. I can trash a compliant and comfortable attitude and strive for something greater. I can trash some items from my drawers and closet and my kids say, "Amen!"
Try - I won't be perfect (according to some...) and I probably will not participate in these resolutions everyday, but I will try.  I will Try to be the woman and servant that God has asked me to be.  I will Try to be the wife that Rick deserves - passionate about our marriage, our ministry, and our life together.  I will Try to be the mother and grandmother that Samuel and Cooper respect and revere-supporting and encouraging in their endeavors. I will Try to be the leader that models professionalism and 'personal-ism' for coworkers and clients-offering expertise and compassion. I will Try. Try new foods (yuck). Try new looks (uh oh). Try to keep up (huff huff huff). Try to let go (sniff sniff). Try to post more blogs (good intentions). I will Try.  That is all I can ask of myself.
I hope you all determine to Try something in 2015.  Something old or new, or big or small, something restraining or liberating, just something!

Wishing you all a very blessed year!
Tori

Position vs. Vision

Rick asked me to look over this (like it needed it...) and so I asked him if I could share it on my blog. I hope you find it as encouraging as I did. So welcome today's guest blogger, my husband, Rick Mitchell.

POSITION VS. VISION 

As churches/businesses/corporations enter seasons of transition they also will face challenges with individuals attempting to position themselves for promotion.  They see themselves as the next pastor, manager, CEO or whatever title may be.  This is dangerous because they value position over vision. 

I am convinced that we should value vision over position.  Positions come and go but it’s the vision that will carry organizations forward.  If a person can only support a vision when they are in a lead position then they really aren’t connected to the vision.  Instead, they are more concerned with their title and position within the organization. 

Luke 9:46-48

“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest.  Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him.  Then he said to them, “Whoever accepts this child as if the child were me, accepts me,” he said.  “And whoever accepts me, accepts the one who sent me.  You become great by accepting, not asserting.  Your spirit, not your size, makes the difference.”

Here are a few thoughts on valuing vision over position.

1.     VALUING POSITION CREATES PRIDE.  VALUING VISION PRODUCES HUMILITY.

When individuals value position over vision it can create a sense of arrogance.  They feel as if the future of the organization is solely dependent upon them.  Pride creates an atmosphere of superiority that can lead to an abuse of authority.  When it becomes “all about me” then the vision is lost and our leadership is compromised.  However, if vision is what drives us then we realize it’s “not all about me” but it is “bigger than me.” 

2.     VALUING POSITION IS “I” FOCUSED.  VALUING VISION IS “WE” FOCUSED.

Competition and comparison within an organization can destroy and organization.  When individuals become “I” focused they will say things like, “I’m better; I’m more gifted; I’m more talented; I deserve; etc.”  That individual exalts themselves above everyone else in the organization.  But individuals who value vision understand that “I can’t do it alone” but “we can do it together.”  I have a picture in my office of a turtle sitting on top of a fence post that says, “I need help to get to where I’m going.”  We is greater than me.

3.     VALUING POSITION CREATES ENEMIES.  VALUING VISION CREATES ALLIES.

Individuals who value position will do whatever it takes to get that position.  They will be tempted to step on others along the way, cash in their integrity and view anyone who opposes them as the enemy.  No organization can be successful if this culture is allowed to filter through the organization.  Individuals who value position will recruit people to join them in this “us versus them” battle.  When team members are forced to take sides then the vision will never be fulfilled.  Valuing vision creates allies that are all fighting for the same thing – the success of the vision. 

4.     VALUING POSITION IS NEVER ENDING.  VALUING VISION IS FULFILLING.

Individuals who believe position brings happiness and fulfillment will be sorely disappointed.  These people can never settle in where they are because they are always looking to the next title or promotion.  They keep searching for fulfillment but it never comes.  In reality, they are connecting their self-worth to their title or position.  When individuals become vision focused they can experience great joy and fulfillment.  When goals are met and the mission is accomplished they can find great satisfaction in knowing they played a vital role in the success of the vision.  

The Airpot

Another trip to Austin and another wait in the airport gives me a few minutes to blog about nothing. So I sit and I watch. I watch people redress after security and wish I had some extra clothes to offer the guy in pj's and the lady in her super short skirt in her flip flops; I don't care- it's November!!  I watch people get patted down. I watch people watch people. I watch men check out the ladies. I watch people watch their electronics. I watch people watch the flight monitor. I watch people not watch their children.  

And I listen. I listen to one sided conversations from the phone and make up my own other side of the conversation. I listen to "buddies." I listen to businessmen. I listen to women and all they talk about. I listen to Spanish. 

So I sit until I must walk. The dreaded walk. I HATE the walk. Remember, I have been watching people who watch people and now those people are watching me. I don't really care what they think about me, it's more about, " I might have to talk to someone." And that eye contact thing... Can I make it all the way to gate 15 without having to make eye contact with anyone? If not, do I hold the stare until they look away? Do I look away quickly? Do I acknowledge them with a nod? Do I have to say, "Hey. How are you?" Now to make it back to my seat without spilling my too hot drink. 

And of course we start with a 15 minute delay. I think it sprinkled outside. 

I watch some more. I wonder about these travelers. Where are they going? Where did they come in from? Are they going to try to carry that big ole suitcase on the plane? There goes Ron running by. Must be - they've called his name 3 times. I like to make up stories about all these people :) And if they try to make up my story- they will never get it right. I guess that's the fun of it. I really don't mind airports, most of the time. It's just time for this introvert to go home. 

That's it. Nothing profound. Just randomness. 

Tori

Back to School

Well, the time has come for the kids to go back to school. As a teacher, I was always as excited as the students about back to school activities. There's just something about taking advantage of a fresh start to build new relationships, mend broken ones, assess and adjust your goals and ambitions, accept challenges, and embrace the learning that comes with knowledge and experiences. I'm getting excited just writing this and I'm not even going back to school! 

So I guess I'm talking to myself here, but why wait for the start of a year to wake with this expectancy? Why can't I be this excited for a new day everyday? It should be that easy since I believe God's promise of new mercies every morning. I am happy to accept that opportunity, but how quick am I to offer it to others? Ouch! 

Maybe this fresh start is about what I can do for others, instead of myself. Maybe it's about seeking out new relationships (which makes me very uncomfortable-why can't I be my only friend?) where I offer more to the relationship than I receive from it? Or mend those relationships that affect those around me. How about assessing my goals and ambitions to ensure I am looking at a future more inclusive than just Tori. I would like to challenge others through my responses and actions while I am accepting my own challenges. And hopefully I will be able to provide knowledge and learning opportunities for my family, friends, coworkers, and others that I engage with. 

I am very excited for the school year to begin! I LOVE to watch my kids grow and stretch and mature throughout the year. I pray that everyday will be spent shining His light to those around us!

What fresh start do you need to take advantage of this year?

Tori

The Wedding Preacher

Yesterday we had the privilege of attending the wedding of a beautiful couple, John and Dallyce.  Not only was everything perfect, but the preacher was pretty awesome himself! I do love to hear Rick preach anywhere, anytime, but I especially love his wedding ceremonies.  Each and every ceremony has it originality and personal touch by him. He does his very best to offer vows that fit the couples personality and he makes it priority to give a word of encouragement that is specific to the bride and groom individually as well as to them as a couple. No two weddings have ever been the exact same. I just wanted to brag on him and say how much I love him! The vows he used last night were excellent and I wanted to share them with you.

I love you, Rick. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad,when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today and all the days of my life.

So everyone go hug your spouse and tell them one more time how much you love them!

XOXO

Tori

Frequent Flyer Woes

Ok so I may not be a frequent flyer, but I do have to jump on a plane every now and again and there are certainly some pet peeves that I have when flying.  Maybe it was the 4:00 am wake up/5:30 am boarding that had me feeling extra sensitive today, but either way, I'm going to share those peeves with you.  I hope I can get through with this, I only have about 30 minutes....

So my first observation was noted in my FB status earlier: learn the security guidelines!!!  No, you can't take water. No you don't have to unpack your entire carry on suitcase into the gray bin. No, do not send your security pass through the scanner if you want to use it. And please, do not put on your socks, shoes, belts, necklaces, watches, and repack your carry on bag from the gray bin while my tiny little backpack is trying to come off of the belt. No one wants to see you retucking your shirt or your gnarly feet. There are benches in a lower lighted area for you to redress. 

So if I am traveling alone, I like to sit on the front row. More rules- lady with the grocery bag sized tote and purse that is the same size, you cannot leave it at your feet and then act like you didn't know you had to store it.  There is a sign posted right in front of you! And if you choose a front row aisle seat so you can have more space, don't take mine with your big ole arms laying on me! Now I understand it gets warm  on the plane for some people, but not me. I always have a sweater or scarf for cover. Yes even in August. So if you need your air vent, that's fine, but when you get tired of the air blowing on you, turn it off and NOT on me. Do they not se me already covered up and can they not hear my teeth chattering? 

Ok, I pride myself in keeping these blogs short so you will keep coming back for quick reads so I'll just share one more thought. Ok maybe two because something funny did happen.  I had to stop in Dallas and change planes so we are sitting by the gate but haven't arrived for deplaning yet. Everyone is seated and waiting, just a minute or two. A young, probably college age, guy walks right up to the attendants who are also still seated and buckled and looks at the door and asks them if we are getting off! Ok it was hilarious at 6:30!! I think he was sleepwalking! 

So last bit of advice- Austin Yellow Cab, if you have a car that is being used for transportation, in Austin, TX, in August, you might want to ensure that it has an air conditioner aside from the two front windows! So not only am I wearing clown make up, I have a Bozo hairdo to go with it! I'm attaching a pic for proof. Which will provide hours of laughter for my kids! Me and selfies NOT!

This is going to be a great day! 

(Comments welcomed.)

Love to ya,

Tori

An Apology to my Kids

My pants are too tight. My pants are too loose. My pants are too short. My pants need to be rolled up. I even have pants that "should never be worn again." My selfies are too close. My phone is too loud. I talk to their friends and offer them rides when I see them walking. I text too much. I go to the school during school hours. I talk to their teachers, coaches, and administrators. I sing in the car. I like to talk to people on the gaming headset. I wear chacos. I snapchat. And the list could go on for days.

I try so hard to not be an embarrassment to my kids, but the truth is, I'm just old and I can't win this battle. I know the rules about not being their best friend, but being their parent; I get that. I'm not talking about that part of parenting. I'm talking about the disgusted looks I get when I come out dressed for the day. Or the ignored texts and snapchats. And what about that "unfriend/block" status? (Well, we fixed that!) Who does that to a parent? Is it a phase or am I doomed to a lifetime of being the butt of their jokes? Will I ever learn to take a proper selfie-probably not before they are out of style! Will I be allowed to host a "kids are coming over?" Or will I ever be honored to be featured in a picture with them and posted to their social media outlet? That remains to be seen. 

Regardless, I love every minute I get to spend with them. So Samuel and Cooper, I apologize for being so ....... whatever I am. Maybe one day I can be cool like you.... Nah. 

Love,

Mom

My Life as a Relay

So as I sit at track practice, I'm watching the girls practice, get coaching, and practice again the ever important hand off exchange. Then it hits me, how many hand offs have I received? How many handoffs have I missed? Handoffs from spiritual coaches, marriage and family mentors, and professional  colleagues. Have I been in position and ready to receive the baton that has been and is being passed on to me? Have I started the exchange but run away from the pass and out of the exchange zone? I think back to those who have passed so much guidance, knowledge, and compassion to me and then I wonder if I have done my part to make the next exchange. Did I run fast enough to pass the baton before my runner was too far behind to catch up? Did I ensure the baton was secure in her hand before I let her go? I pray that I have made some successful exchanges and have even been a part of someone's winning race. 

Tori

Summer-Where Did You Go?

Well 'summer vacation' is almost over and I feel like I haven't even had a chance to make those wonderful 'family memories' that we all hold on to long into our adult years.  We didn't visit any national parks. We didn't go camping, build a campfire, or catch any fish. We didn't race from attraction to attraction at an adventure park. We didn't travel to a family reunion where none of us know any of the people who claim to be our aunts, uncles, and cousins. We didn't rent a boat and cruise the local lake. We didn't renovate a bathroom or kitchen. We didn't clean out storage or the attic and have a garage sale. We didn't even spend one day at the pool.  WHAT KIND OF PARENT AM I?!?!   Seems like our excuse in the early years of "They are too young to remember it" has backfired on us to "They are too old to want to do that." How did I miss those middle years? 

Don't get me wrong. They have had plenty of activities to keep them busy this summer. Church camp, mission trip, football camps and workouts, track training and meets, and volleyball. And we still have some plans on the books over the next few weeks. 

I just had a different summer experience as a kid. I can remember visiting my grandparents with my cousins. Papa would take us to the farm where we learned to drive, haul trailers, ride a horse, shoot rabbits, and everything a 10 year old dreams of doing in the country.  And with Granny, we would cook, wash dishes, can fresh vegetables, and hang out the laundry - ok, to a 10 year old even that is fun!

These memories have stayed with me into my adulthood along with many others. I only hope that in years past, present, and future we can make some memories with our family and friends that will bring a smile to Samuel and Cooper when they recall the times we shared.  Hopefully our trips to the cities will provide as rich experiences as the campground. Memories of LA, NOLA, Santa Fe, Miami, Haiti,
multiple Texas cities, and many other points on the map. Ok so I'm feeling a little better just remembering our vacations as I type this.

I do look forward to many more excursions with Rick, Samuel, Cooper and whoever else is brave enough to tag along!

What are some of your favorite summer memories?

Love to ya, 

Tori

I Spy With My Little Eye

I spy with my little eye... Innovation, ability, entrepreneurship, community.

I spy with my little eye...  Education, nutrition, possibility.

I spy with GREAT BIG EYES...  Hope, desire, joy... I spy the future of Haiti.

The Village Champion

One of the projects of the Mission of Hope in Haiti is what they have called "Blue to Block" which has built over 500 homes to move those displaced after the 2010 earthquake from a blue tent into a block home. This project has moved from 500 + homes to also include a church and school in just 4 short years.  This village is called Laveque and not only houses those who have received homes there, but also a large deaf community that also participates in church services and school. A missionary team was conducting summer school for the deaf students while we were there - AWESOME. When we first visited Laveque, there were a few homes built and that was about all. Our job was to clear and prepare the "yards" for homeowners to produce a garden.

This is a picture from our first visit.  The houses are painted in beautiful colors and it is an amazing site.  And the next picture is from the same view this past week.

Last year (2013) Leslie Rich and I stood at the top of a hill in the middle of the village and mapped out, as well as we could, the houses, roads, common restrooms, and any other markers that would make reading the map easier. We simply drew small squares and tried to label the colors of the houses that we could see. We then walked the streets and put house numbers on the ends of the rows to help guide whoever would be using this map. And we left that little piece of paper with squiggly lines and cramped edges without really knowing what its purpose would be. Since that time, a man they call a "Village Champion" (they actually have these in all of the villages that the Mission and teams work with) has taken our makeshift map and transposed it onto a poster. But he didn't stop at the color of the house... One each little square that represents a house, he has a house number, the names and ages of the persons living in the house, and any special notes, or needs of that household. He also uses it as a record of services that have provided to that house or what still needs to be provided. I guess you could say that this Village Champion knows his village inside and out! He is their CHAMPION!  On one of the first nights, one of the Mission staff members challenged us to start thinking of our neighborhood, our work place, our church, whatever we are involved in, the way that this Village Champion thinks of his village. I am not a champion. Not even close. But I want to be. There are more than 500 homes with many people in that small area and I would say he knows almost, if not all of them by name. (And I do believe there are a couple of Village Champions at this location, but still!) I don't even know everyone on my side of Avenue S!  I know God is calling me to be a village champion. I will become that champion.

Side note:  You have no idea how much I have struggled just to write this because I honestly do not want to do what it takes to be a village champion. I don't want to know people that closely or them me. I don't want to step out of my private life and open up to others. And I know if I write this, I need to commit to working to become that champion.  I want to delete this so bad right now, but I can't. That's why I didn't write yesterday because I was struggling with writing this particular story and I didn't want to but can't get away from it.  So there - you know how I really feel.  

Big breath - now that's out of the way, I can share some pics of the church and new school that opened in October.  It is amazing - there was no structure of the school when we left last year. God bless Laveque. God bless the Village Champions. God bless Haiti.  For more information and stories, visit mohhaiti.com.  Love to ya, Tori

This is Haiti

Ever so often the Mission of Hope will post a picture and the hash tag will read, 'this is Haiti.'  I have posted 200+ pictures of our recent mission trip to Haiti on my facebook page.  Over the next several days I will try my best to give you a portrayal of Haiti through this blog, pictures, stories, and even guest bloggers that will  give you a vision of beauty that you never imagined. There may be funny stories, testimonies of life changing encounters, updates on progress, poetry - I don't know what all is to come out of this over the next few posts.
But today I will start by introducing you to our team.  Each year, God always puts together a team with specific skills and personalities that will be critical to the upcoming trip.  We usually have a rough idea of what we will be doing while there, but there is never anything set in stone as far as an agenda when we get there.  And this year was no different.  Let's see, there was Rick, Cooper, and myself leading the group. Married couple Gerry, a Physicians Assistant and resident comedian, and Shanna, the next steps planner and dreamer, Hargrave. The "Bromance" boys Joshua Brock and Christian Romero and their understanding third wheel, Hanna Crump who also doubles as Josh's girlfriend. The world traveler and source of Cooper's nervousness, Heather Reed.  A couple of "I'm not too sure I want to do this, but God told me to so I will" friends, Justice Rameriz and Stephanie Parales. Veteran mother/daughter village baby magnets, Hallie Gillespie and Tracy Gutierrez. The "Middle School Boys Rule" mom and fellow educator, Shelly Bratcher. And our friends from Oklahoma, LIcia and Zak, future World Cup star.
So as you may or may not can tell if you do or do not know these guys - we had a TON of FUN!  Lots of laughter, much intelligence, and both physical and mental strength that endured long, hot days and bumpy, sweaty bus rides.  Some of us shared our life stories and our future dreams.  We encouraged one another with our words, actions, and pats on the back.  We shared food and 'w-h-a-a-t-e-r-r-r". We painted together, played together, swam together, and worshipped together.  We found each others hidden talents and observed each others smallest quirks.  We prayed together, we witnessed together, we served together.  We bonded.  We will never be the same.  We will be forever connected by our experiences as Team Haiti 2014.
I look forward to sharing our mission with you.

Tori

Road Rash

Over the last few days, I've seen more road rash than any two people should ever have to endure. But as I had time to reflect on "What could be the meaning of all of this?" I began to think about my journey on my own road of life and the rashes I've endured. 

This is the thing about road rash-no one is to fault; it isn't a deliberate intent to harm. Rather, it is a by product of being on the road-a spiritual, emotional or physical road. It is the result of a situation, a circumstance that occurs while traveling your road. Often times, I wanted someone to blame, but it's hard to hold a grudge against a piece of pavement.

Sometimes there are the superficial rashes, the "strawberry" if you will. These are usually small, on the surface, and don't require much medical attention.  Sometimes you don't even know you have an injury until something irritates it. To me, this road rash teaches me a quick lesson like, "Well, I'll never do that again!" These scab over, flake off, and are gone pretty quickly.

Another level of road rash would be moderate. You know, knocks a chunk of skin off, leaves some holes. This goes a little deeper and requires me to provide a little more attention to my healing process. This makes me a little more cautious when similar situations that caused my road rash arrive. I'm not sure I want that feeling again.

The worse kind of road rash I have seen is an avulsion down to muscles, tendons, and even bone. You could say, "This cuts to the bone." Road rash to this extent needs constant and intentional care. Often times, I've needed a group of people to contribute to my recovery as I just could not conquer this injury alone. The cause of this road rash is avoided in the future!

So I learned this about road rash:

1) They all hurt...... and they all heal.  There's no gradient of rash when it comes to healing. They all heal in time. I have seen a severe physical road rash begin to heal over a matter of days. I know God can and wants to do the same for my heart, mind, and soul.  

2) They all leave a scar..... and they all tell a story.  I want my story to be one of Faith in times of overwhelming questions, Hope in times of deepest desperation, and Unconditional Love INSPITE of my conditions. 

My road has brought rashes in all of these categories and I am sure they will continue as long as I travel my road of life in Faith. I will tend to my wounds. I will embrace the healing and I will tell my story. 

Tori

A Father's Sacrifice

We'll, Happy Father's Day everyone! This weekend, I was privileged to spend the weekend with fathers of many generations who are the most invincible men I know.  They are husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons, grandpas, and DADDYS, even Heavenly Daddy!  I witnessed emotion, devotion, celebration, and collaboration. But what touched me most was the sacrifice that each of these fathers embraced.  They sacrificed spending the day the way they had planned. They sacrificed enjoying the activities of their children. They sacrificed time from their church family and activities. They sacrificed pride. But, they did not sacrifice out of burden.  They sacrifice out of joy.  The joy of life and health.  The joy of family and friends.  The joy of expectation. They joy of knowing their foundation and future. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by men of God who willingly sacrifice whatever necessary for family, for friends, and even for love.  I can honestly say that I would not be nearly as savvy, as solving, or as sincere if it were not for men who taught me how to be practical yet spontaneous, vulnerable yet confident, and most of all - who taught me how to be loved and how to love. I can not imagine one moment of my life without any of them.  So fathers of all ages - know your sacrifice is not going unnoticed. I thank you for being MEN who lead and love. 

Happy Father's Day EVERYDAY!

Tori

Just Forget It!

So I've tried writing several things on this blog today, and nothing will make its way past my "backspace" key.

So all you are getting is the - Looking forward to a great weekend of volleyball, coffee bar, worship team, and whatever pops up along the way.  So glad I get to do it all with Rick, Samuel, and Cooper!  Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Happy Birthday to ME!

 Well, yesterday was my 44th birthday.  I can't say thank you enough to everyone who wished me a happy day - your wishes came true.  It was a good day :)  Which sparked this blog post....  Many of you may not know (haha), but I am actually a very private person.  I don't really like people in my business and I don't want to get in your business either.  I don't even really like that my birthday is posted on Facebook.  That being said, I admit,  I was overwhelmed with the many posts, notes, comments, texts, ecards, face to face, and email birthday wishes yesterday.  I'll be honest, I never take the time to send birthday wishes via any media except for family and close friends. I guess I think, what I have to say isn't that important and won't be missed.  But I saw every greeting that came to me yesterday and tried to respond in some form or fashion to them.  I saw faces of family, friends from High School, College, Junior High, my small town, my co-workers, my church, and literally from around the world.  I was humbled that so many people (well over 100+ is a lot for me) took just a minute to think of me and let me know. (CUE)    Yes, I am ashamed!  So I have determined that I will make every effort to let someone else know that I am thinking of them and praying that every day is special.  So to all of you who have already had a birthday or anniversary in January, please accept my retroactive and sincerest Happy Birthday/Happy Anniversary.  And if you ever wonder if your words are important or if they will be missed, just know that they are very important and will be missed by someone who desperately needs to hear them at that time.  For those of you who pick up the slack for the rest of us, thank you - you really are an encouragement for me to make connections and be confident that your words are appreciated and make someones day brighter.  Thank you again for ALL of the well wishes over the past couple of days.  I am deeply touched at your remembrance.  

(I have to say, I can't stop staring at that puppy!!!  He is the cutest thing EVER!!!)

Tori  

I'm Not Perfect, and That's OK!

A little reflection from todays bible study - the passage was encouraging me to give up trying to be perfect and let Him be perfect in me. Oh that's hard to swallow. Not that I think I am perfect-not even close.  But that doesn't stop me from trying.   I don't even mind putting in the "work" to become perfect, but the disappointment when the wind gets knocked out of my sails never becomes easier to accept.  Somehow I find a way to move past that and keep pressing on.  So my lesson is ... Quit putting those expectations on myself in the first place! I know that as my relationship with Christ deepens, I can learn to trust His perfect love and remain confident in the promise that He will finish whatever He starts in me.  I hope you too will hold on to that promise and allow God to be perfect in you.

Confidence vs Fear

So I was visiting with a co-worker today about a book that we are reading, A Confident Heart, by Renee Swope.  We were talking about opportunities that we may not pursue because of our lack of confidence either in OUR abilities or HIS availabilities.  I don't think of myself as a fearful person.  I would even say that I am a pretty confident person, but I do know that I have missed out on many experiences because of my lack of initiation just because I don't think I deserve it.  It is negotiable for me.  I can have it or live without it - no big deal.  I see now, that I do hold myself back because of non-confidence. (Is that a word?)  I believe I can perform any tasks, with confidence, that I am asked to tackle, but do I chase possibilities?  What am I afraid of?  We referenced Jeremiah 17:7 "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence."  Although I say this is true, how much confidence am I putting in the Lord and what his will is for me?  Funny thing - none of the scriptures I read ended with - "if it is Your will."  Just straight up - "...You won't be disappointed." "I am doing a new thing..." "All things work for the good..."  "All things are possible..."  I am so thankful for a God that has confidence in me when I have tremendous doubt or even a shadow of doubt.