An Apology to my Kids

My pants are too tight. My pants are too loose. My pants are too short. My pants need to be rolled up. I even have pants that "should never be worn again." My selfies are too close. My phone is too loud. I talk to their friends and offer them rides when I see them walking. I text too much. I go to the school during school hours. I talk to their teachers, coaches, and administrators. I sing in the car. I like to talk to people on the gaming headset. I wear chacos. I snapchat. And the list could go on for days.

I try so hard to not be an embarrassment to my kids, but the truth is, I'm just old and I can't win this battle. I know the rules about not being their best friend, but being their parent; I get that. I'm not talking about that part of parenting. I'm talking about the disgusted looks I get when I come out dressed for the day. Or the ignored texts and snapchats. And what about that "unfriend/block" status? (Well, we fixed that!) Who does that to a parent? Is it a phase or am I doomed to a lifetime of being the butt of their jokes? Will I ever learn to take a proper selfie-probably not before they are out of style! Will I be allowed to host a "kids are coming over?" Or will I ever be honored to be featured in a picture with them and posted to their social media outlet? That remains to be seen. 

Regardless, I love every minute I get to spend with them. So Samuel and Cooper, I apologize for being so ....... whatever I am. Maybe one day I can be cool like you.... Nah. 

Love,

Mom

My Life as a Relay

So as I sit at track practice, I'm watching the girls practice, get coaching, and practice again the ever important hand off exchange. Then it hits me, how many hand offs have I received? How many handoffs have I missed? Handoffs from spiritual coaches, marriage and family mentors, and professional  colleagues. Have I been in position and ready to receive the baton that has been and is being passed on to me? Have I started the exchange but run away from the pass and out of the exchange zone? I think back to those who have passed so much guidance, knowledge, and compassion to me and then I wonder if I have done my part to make the next exchange. Did I run fast enough to pass the baton before my runner was too far behind to catch up? Did I ensure the baton was secure in her hand before I let her go? I pray that I have made some successful exchanges and have even been a part of someone's winning race. 

Tori

Summer-Where Did You Go?

Well 'summer vacation' is almost over and I feel like I haven't even had a chance to make those wonderful 'family memories' that we all hold on to long into our adult years.  We didn't visit any national parks. We didn't go camping, build a campfire, or catch any fish. We didn't race from attraction to attraction at an adventure park. We didn't travel to a family reunion where none of us know any of the people who claim to be our aunts, uncles, and cousins. We didn't rent a boat and cruise the local lake. We didn't renovate a bathroom or kitchen. We didn't clean out storage or the attic and have a garage sale. We didn't even spend one day at the pool.  WHAT KIND OF PARENT AM I?!?!   Seems like our excuse in the early years of "They are too young to remember it" has backfired on us to "They are too old to want to do that." How did I miss those middle years? 

Don't get me wrong. They have had plenty of activities to keep them busy this summer. Church camp, mission trip, football camps and workouts, track training and meets, and volleyball. And we still have some plans on the books over the next few weeks. 

I just had a different summer experience as a kid. I can remember visiting my grandparents with my cousins. Papa would take us to the farm where we learned to drive, haul trailers, ride a horse, shoot rabbits, and everything a 10 year old dreams of doing in the country.  And with Granny, we would cook, wash dishes, can fresh vegetables, and hang out the laundry - ok, to a 10 year old even that is fun!

These memories have stayed with me into my adulthood along with many others. I only hope that in years past, present, and future we can make some memories with our family and friends that will bring a smile to Samuel and Cooper when they recall the times we shared.  Hopefully our trips to the cities will provide as rich experiences as the campground. Memories of LA, NOLA, Santa Fe, Miami, Haiti,
multiple Texas cities, and many other points on the map. Ok so I'm feeling a little better just remembering our vacations as I type this.

I do look forward to many more excursions with Rick, Samuel, Cooper and whoever else is brave enough to tag along!

What are some of your favorite summer memories?

Love to ya, 

Tori

I Spy With My Little Eye

I spy with my little eye... Innovation, ability, entrepreneurship, community.

I spy with my little eye...  Education, nutrition, possibility.

I spy with GREAT BIG EYES...  Hope, desire, joy... I spy the future of Haiti.

The Village Champion

One of the projects of the Mission of Hope in Haiti is what they have called "Blue to Block" which has built over 500 homes to move those displaced after the 2010 earthquake from a blue tent into a block home. This project has moved from 500 + homes to also include a church and school in just 4 short years.  This village is called Laveque and not only houses those who have received homes there, but also a large deaf community that also participates in church services and school. A missionary team was conducting summer school for the deaf students while we were there - AWESOME. When we first visited Laveque, there were a few homes built and that was about all. Our job was to clear and prepare the "yards" for homeowners to produce a garden.

This is a picture from our first visit.  The houses are painted in beautiful colors and it is an amazing site.  And the next picture is from the same view this past week.

Last year (2013) Leslie Rich and I stood at the top of a hill in the middle of the village and mapped out, as well as we could, the houses, roads, common restrooms, and any other markers that would make reading the map easier. We simply drew small squares and tried to label the colors of the houses that we could see. We then walked the streets and put house numbers on the ends of the rows to help guide whoever would be using this map. And we left that little piece of paper with squiggly lines and cramped edges without really knowing what its purpose would be. Since that time, a man they call a "Village Champion" (they actually have these in all of the villages that the Mission and teams work with) has taken our makeshift map and transposed it onto a poster. But he didn't stop at the color of the house... One each little square that represents a house, he has a house number, the names and ages of the persons living in the house, and any special notes, or needs of that household. He also uses it as a record of services that have provided to that house or what still needs to be provided. I guess you could say that this Village Champion knows his village inside and out! He is their CHAMPION!  On one of the first nights, one of the Mission staff members challenged us to start thinking of our neighborhood, our work place, our church, whatever we are involved in, the way that this Village Champion thinks of his village. I am not a champion. Not even close. But I want to be. There are more than 500 homes with many people in that small area and I would say he knows almost, if not all of them by name. (And I do believe there are a couple of Village Champions at this location, but still!) I don't even know everyone on my side of Avenue S!  I know God is calling me to be a village champion. I will become that champion.

Side note:  You have no idea how much I have struggled just to write this because I honestly do not want to do what it takes to be a village champion. I don't want to know people that closely or them me. I don't want to step out of my private life and open up to others. And I know if I write this, I need to commit to working to become that champion.  I want to delete this so bad right now, but I can't. That's why I didn't write yesterday because I was struggling with writing this particular story and I didn't want to but can't get away from it.  So there - you know how I really feel.  

Big breath - now that's out of the way, I can share some pics of the church and new school that opened in October.  It is amazing - there was no structure of the school when we left last year. God bless Laveque. God bless the Village Champions. God bless Haiti.  For more information and stories, visit mohhaiti.com.  Love to ya, Tori

This is Haiti

Ever so often the Mission of Hope will post a picture and the hash tag will read, 'this is Haiti.'  I have posted 200+ pictures of our recent mission trip to Haiti on my facebook page.  Over the next several days I will try my best to give you a portrayal of Haiti through this blog, pictures, stories, and even guest bloggers that will  give you a vision of beauty that you never imagined. There may be funny stories, testimonies of life changing encounters, updates on progress, poetry - I don't know what all is to come out of this over the next few posts.
But today I will start by introducing you to our team.  Each year, God always puts together a team with specific skills and personalities that will be critical to the upcoming trip.  We usually have a rough idea of what we will be doing while there, but there is never anything set in stone as far as an agenda when we get there.  And this year was no different.  Let's see, there was Rick, Cooper, and myself leading the group. Married couple Gerry, a Physicians Assistant and resident comedian, and Shanna, the next steps planner and dreamer, Hargrave. The "Bromance" boys Joshua Brock and Christian Romero and their understanding third wheel, Hanna Crump who also doubles as Josh's girlfriend. The world traveler and source of Cooper's nervousness, Heather Reed.  A couple of "I'm not too sure I want to do this, but God told me to so I will" friends, Justice Rameriz and Stephanie Parales. Veteran mother/daughter village baby magnets, Hallie Gillespie and Tracy Gutierrez. The "Middle School Boys Rule" mom and fellow educator, Shelly Bratcher. And our friends from Oklahoma, LIcia and Zak, future World Cup star.
So as you may or may not can tell if you do or do not know these guys - we had a TON of FUN!  Lots of laughter, much intelligence, and both physical and mental strength that endured long, hot days and bumpy, sweaty bus rides.  Some of us shared our life stories and our future dreams.  We encouraged one another with our words, actions, and pats on the back.  We shared food and 'w-h-a-a-t-e-r-r-r". We painted together, played together, swam together, and worshipped together.  We found each others hidden talents and observed each others smallest quirks.  We prayed together, we witnessed together, we served together.  We bonded.  We will never be the same.  We will be forever connected by our experiences as Team Haiti 2014.
I look forward to sharing our mission with you.

Tori